The True Nature of Overwhelm, and How to Address it!

Leadership Development & Executive Coaching Through Neuroscience | Mission Squared - tired

I was talking with a group of CEO’s of small companies recently, and I asked them what the #1 challenge was with their workforces. They nearly all came to the same word; OVERWHELM. However, what they described was their frustration with many members of their teams complaining that they were overwhelmed, and not dealing with it well. In contrast, the executives all had the belief that the overwhelmed employees had no true reason to be overwhelmed; that their workloads were totally doable. 

In my own personal experience with overwhelm, when I’ve looked back at times when I felt overwhelmed, I realize in hindsight that I was making a lot of it up. I had definitely been undergoing objectively trying times, but in tandem, I was creating a narrative that made it worse, and made it seem like I could never overcome it.

Definitions of overwhelm are quite dramatic – being buried or drowning beneath something; being inundated; completely defeated. These aren’t conditions you want to throw around. Stating that you are overwhelmed is a serious claim, indeed! And words matter. We influence our thoughts, and eventually our beliefs, by repeatedly using specific words to describe our experiences. Habitually saying that we are overwhelmed could in and of itself make us believe we are in a helpless, hopeless state.

I’m going to be very honest with you about what I’m seeing with this dynamic in workplaces today. There is an intense tension created when employees express feelings of overwhelm and ask for relief, extra support, reduced workloads or hours. This tension is created because the managers and senior leaders above them often do not agree that they should be overwhelmed, or are confused by it, while they are seeing decreased productivity. Increasingly, managers are concerned that by reducing the workloads or demands on their teams, they will not reach the most priority goals, or even fail to survive. This creates immense stress and tension for all parties involved.

We as leaders tend to forget how we felt when we were in those same positions- working our way up, taking on bigger roles, and experiencing the inherent challenge and threat associated with that professional growth. We forget how hard it was to be a brand new manager, and we lack empathy for their struggle.

We also have perspective they do not- we know that they CAN get through it, and they absolutely can be successful in achieving what is in front of them. We often believe in them more than they believe in themselves. This is an incredibly trying dynamic for everyone involved.

And it’s coming to a head like never before. The 2022 Gallup State of the Workforce Report painted a grim picture of workplace stress and employee wellness. Their extensive polling found historic records of workplace stress. The survey found that the below percentages of U.S. workers experienced these emotions on a daily basis:

  • DAILY WORRY: 40%
  • DAILY STRESS: 44%
  • DAILY ANGER: 21%
  • DAILY SADNESS: 23%

 

If someone is not thriving or well in their personal lives, that can make them more susceptible to overwhelm at work. However, even if someone’s personal life is going well, they can experience overwhelm at work when they perceive that their work is “too much.” Notice I don’t say they are overwhelmed when their work IS too much. Perception is reality. Granted, sometimes you do have too much to do, and no way to accomplish it within the timeframe expected, or at least not without working a very unhealthy number of hours, leading to burnout. In my experience, in these instances in my past and my work with clients, when handled well, we are able to communicate our current situation, ask for help and/or broadened perspective, possibly adjust deadlines, move something off our plates, etc. We were able to address it. 

So, overwhelm is fundamentally an emotion-based perception, that is held at a specific point in time, and in reality can be addressed and ameliorated if not completely resolved. My personal definition of overwhelm is “I don’t have the energy to do what I believe is required of me.” I don’t have the energy that I have when I feel connected to those around me. Or, I don’t have the energy that I have when I’m confident I can produce the desired results. Or, I don’t have the energy that I have when I feel a sense of importance and purpose for the tasks at hand.

We hit an impasse when either the employee or the leadership refuse to move from their opinion or their position on how much work needs to be done by when.

So, if you are overwhelmed, remember, this is temporary. This too shall pass, and your needs will be met. There is ALWAYS a path that creates a win-win-win.

So, stop, breathe, and use these helpful tips:

1.     Pause

2.     Acknowledge the myth: “I can do anything, but not everything”

3.     Communicate

4.     Look for ways to realign (when/how will I be most productive?)

5.     Identify your own needs, and meet them

6.     Ask for help

7.     Offer reasonable alternatives that meet team and company needs

(Source: Ellevest Magazine)

The ultimate solution? Seek a win-win-win. Leaders and overwhelmed team members must communicate, become clear on what the needs are of the employee, the leader and the organization, and find a path forward that addresses those priority needs at all three levels- a win-win-win. Win for the employees needs for balance, success, and support, a win for the leader’s needs for accomplishing priority, team results and achievements, and a win for the organization’s progress and health.

“The greatest setback can lead to your greatest breakthrough. Trust and believe that all things are working together for your good.” 
― Germany Kent

 

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